The Ego as the Sum Total of the Conditions We Have Placed on Our Happiness
In order to drop the conditions, we first need to be aware that we have them and we need to feel that dropping them is actually desirable. Michael Singer’s advice to "relax and release" the instant we feel a shift in our internal energy, followed (once we are at a better place) by Anthony DeMello’s 4-Step program (Get in touch with the negative feeling; understand that the feeling is in you, not in external reality; never, ever identify your "I" with that feeling; when you change, everything changes) show us how we are able to drop these conditions.
Seeing this as desirable and then making the effort to apply the Singer and DeMello steps (which is a 24/7/365 effort for the rest of your life) must come from within.